Do housewives find a sense of belonging in their roles?

Being a homemaker involves unpaid work and the emotional mental and psychological challenges associated with this role remain largely unspoken In India the role of a homemaker is deeply ingrained in cultural traditionsThe Cambridge Dictionary 1995 defines a housewife as a woman whose work is inside the home doing the cleaning cooking etc and who usually does not have any other job While this definition seems straightforward it raises questions about how the role of homemakers is viewed especially in Indian cultureIn fact married women in India account for the largest share of female suicide deaths underscoring the harsh reality that for many the role of a homemaker is filled with deep psychological and emotional challengesAs National Housewifersquos Day was celebrated on November 3 middaycom in order to gain deeper insight into this issue spoke with two homemakers from different generations Abigail name changed a 29yearold stayathome mother and Carol name changed a 54yearold homemaker We also consulted D Rita Jacquelyn psychology professor at Royal College Mira Road and former freelancer consultant who sheds light on the emotional pressures a homemaker may have to faceAbigail chose to leave her career to focus on raising her young daughter She expresses love for the role but also shares challenges ldquoI do love being a housewiferdquo she says adding ldquoIt brings me great joy when I see that I am able to provide nourishment like physical healthy nourishment for my childrdquoYet like many homemakers she also faces moments of loneliness and exhaustion ldquoI do feel lonely sometimes especially because my daughter demands so much of my attention and my husband works long hours I cry to the Lord thats one of the first things that I do and I cry to my mother and when my husband comes home I share with him and he takes care of our daughter while I take some time off in the nights to just be by myselfrdquo she sharesWhat stands out in the 30yearold homemakerrsquos story is the family support she receives making a significant difference in how she copes with the emotional aspects of homemaking ldquoI have never felt undervalued by my family members in fact itrsquos the other way around All of my family members support and insist on me being at home to take care of our little onerdquo she says This support is crucial as it gives her the space to take time off when needed without feeling guilty ldquoI dont feel guilty for taking time off Thatrsquos also because I have a family that appreciates and supports and insists on me taking time offrdquoSharing how she feels the role of a homemaker is viewed in current times Abigail says ldquoThe current trend is to acknowledge that child rearing has an impact as well as how it is important to take time off and how it is important to recognise mothers especially and to counsel them There are a lot of influencers who do that very specifically and there are a lot of homemaker groups you can be a part of And personally societal view has not been much of a factor that I need to consider in any kind of decision makingrdquoALSO READ National Stress Awareness Day The stressrelief toolkit you needCarol 54 has spent all her life as a homemaker managing the household and raising children Unlike Abigail Carol doesnrsquot find fulfillment in homemakingShe points out that societyrsquos view of homemaking has changed over the years but itrsquos still not enough ldquoSociety does not value the efforts and contribution of a homemaker towards building a beautiful environment for the family The views of society are particularly negative and do not impact me anymorerdquo she saysAlthough Carol doesnrsquot experience loneliness or boredom she feels a deep sense of unfulfillment Itrsquos not practically possible to keep everyone satisfied so the thought of unfulfillment does matter at timesrdquo she reflects Expressing her desire to pursue personal goals particularly her desire to serve underprivileged communities she says ldquoMy goal is to put our service and talents to use to help the underprivileged Small steps are taken at the moment in order to balance them with my current responsibilitiesrdquoAccording to psychologist Jacquelyn homemakers regardless of age often struggle with their selfperception and societal recognition both of which can significantly impact mental healthldquoSelfperception plays an important role in the impact the role of homemaker has on womenrdquo she explains adding ldquoIn India the family structure will also play an important rolemdashjoint versus nuclear family structurerdquo However she also points out that many homemakers especially those from more traditional backgrounds lack the emotional support they need ldquoLack of social support in the form of siblings or friends may also risk a person to mental health issues like anxiety and depressionrdquo she notesFinancial concerns and the lack of financial independence can also contribute to mental health struggles particularly in India where many homemakers are financially dependent on their spouses ldquoFinancial concerns and lack of financial independence or any autonomy to make decisions could be common concerns of Indian housewivesrdquoSome women are happy in their role as homemakers with a lot of them even leaving their careers to take care of their families However given the challenges that accompany being a homemaker recognising their mental health needs and creating a supportive environment is crucial