Mumbai-based writer Saanjh* has tried using almost every dating app, hoping to find a good person. However, she has had to face several unpleasant experiences, that compromised her physical and emotional safety. “I have tried my luck using almost all dating platforms that are currently available including small-time apps, which at times has put me in a precarious situation,” she states.

She shares an experience: "I was briefly working in Bengaluru when I had matched with a guy on Bumble and I invited them over. They tried to get physically intimate when I had not consented to it. I was already not in a good state mentally. I called a friend in tears and she consoled me for a bit until I slept. The next day, she showed up with another friend with food, and spent the whole day with me while we worked together to help me settle.” 

“I had another experience as a student where a person I`d matched on Tinder insisted that I meet him at the beach at night time. I did not go on the date and unmatched with him but he found my Facebook profile with just my first name and began messaging me there. I blocked him,” she further reveals. 

A similar situation was faced by Delhi-based management professional Tanya*, which prompted her to stop using dating apps altogether. She states, “I had matched with someone but didn’t wish to continue talking, so I unmatched. However, he began texting me on social media and I was terrified. I blocked him and also uninstalled the dating app, and haven’t used it since. The whole experience was very scary.” 

The same platforms that are considered liberating and credited for democratising relationships are now in the limelight for all the wrong reasons. Unsafe incidents such as these not only compromise physical safety but also affect users mentally. 

“Both these incidents left me shaken. It took time to recover,” shares Saanjh. 

However, the experience did not deter her from using dating apps. “The way I deal with people has changed due to these experiences. If I don`t feel comfortable or catch the ick by something they said or their behaviour, I stop talking to them,” she states. 

Nirali Bhatia, cyber psychologist, psychotherapist and founder of Cyber B.A.A.P. (an anti-cyberbullying organisation), has seen instances of dating app users being harassed or scammed through these apps. 

“One major issue is that of fake profiles,” she reveals. “Guys believe it to be a girl`s profile, but then they realise it was a boy chatting from a girl`s profile. I`ve also come across girls who intentionally swiped another girl`s profile because that’s what they wanted, and then realised it was a boy. In one case, the boy started extorting the girl,” she states.