Extramarital workplace affairs on rise; experts share ways to set boundaries

Itrsquos the elephant in the corporate boardroom that no one wants to address and yet must contend with every day mdash the workplace spouse that you repeatedly reassure your significant other to not worry about but know that they would do well to more than worry about anyway Wersquore talking about office affairs which as recent data reveals are far more common than yoursquod thinkThe survey explained that the long work hours and high stress levels that corporate employees must contend with were the main causes for extramarital workplace affairs REPRESENTATION PICSA survey by Gleeden an extramarital dating app reveals that nearly 25 per cent of Indian users especially those in corporate jobs have been unfaithful mdash the numbers are much higher in metro cities with Kolkata and Mumbai leading with 35 per cent of respondents answering in the affirmative with Delhi coming a close second at 32 per centAn unhealthy outletThe makers of the survey cite the long work hours and high stress levels that corporate employees must contend with as leading causes for extramarital workplace affairs They contend that stepping outside the boundaries of marriage whether in the form of casual flings or more serious relationships offers an easy outlet to alleviate this stressTaylor ElizabethTaylor Elizabeth an emotional intelligence coach agrees with these observations ldquoProfessionals especially in corporate settings often juggle demanding schedules high stress and the constant need to prove themselves This can create emotional gaps in their personal lives making them more susceptible to seeking connection and validation elsewhere Long hours frequent collaborations and shared challenges in the workplace often blur boundaries leading to deeperthanexpected relationshipsrdquo she explains She adds that many professionals describe these affairs as a means of escaping feelings of monotony or dissatisfaction mdash especially when in the throes of a midlife crisis that may cause them to question their life choices or seek excitement beyond their typical routines According to her such affairs signal deeper emotional struggles that often go unaddressed which may include feeling stuck or undervaluedFilling a voidSohini RohraPaucities in existing relationships mdash whether actual or perceived mdash can further cause either partner to go astray Sohini Rohra a counselling psychologist notes that in her practice many corporate employees report feeling uncared for or emotionally neglected especially if their partner is frequently away or constantly preoccupied with their job ldquoFor others the dynamic shifts may occur when one partner becomes controlling or overly dependent making the other feel trapped and desperate for freedom Further when physical intimacy is lacking or unfulfilling the disconnect becomes even harder to ignore leading some to seek whatrsquos missing outside their marriagerdquo she clarifies The situation becomes further complicated in major metropolitan cities such as Mumbai which have a culture of individualism ldquoPeople in big cities are juggling highpowered careers and endless opportunities and this privilege can sometimes lead to entitlement in relationships Itrsquos easy to believe lsquoIf this isnrsquot working for me I have other optionsrsquordquo she saysLetrsquos keep it realNamrata JainEven though it may seem as though extramarital affairs are simply individuals seeking what their heart truly desires counselling psychologist Namrata Jain warns against romanticising the notion ldquoIn my practice I have observed that extramarital affairs rarely last long even if they do the partner who has strayed often ends up miserable Such affairs are fuelled by the thrill of secrecy Once that initial excitement wears off the relationship can be difficult to sustain and often falls apart People eventually realise that the same emotional patterns they were trying to escape in their marital relationship exists in the affair as wellrdquo she cautionsWhat makes such affairs particularly damaging is that their fallout almost always spills over into the professional realm ldquoI have seen clients lose their drive their sense of purpose and even their passion for their work When your personal life feels unstable everything else starts to feel unstable too Itrsquos almost as if your foundation is missing and nothing seems to hold firm anymorerdquo she addsThe saving graceClaiming ownership and accountability when it comes to extramarital relationships isnrsquot easy but if yoursquore genuinely concerned about moving forward Elizabeth suggests taking it slow ldquoItrsquos important to pause and reflect and to ask yourself why this happened and what you truly want as you move forward Avoid acting impulsively out of guilt or fear instead focus on handling the situation with maturity and responsibilityrdquo she says Should you decide to end the affair and focus on your marital relationship herersquos how you can go about itBe honest Approach conversations with those who are impacted by the affair with empathy and respect Taking accountability without placing blame elsewhere is key to moving forwardGet support Talking to a therapist coach or trusted mentor can provide clarity and help you process emotions in a healthy wayRebuild trust Whether itrsquos with your partner family or colleagues focus on actions that show integrity and reliabilitySet boundaries If the relationship involves a colleague itrsquos important to establish and maintain clear professional boundaries moving forwardldquoRemember moving forward from an affair is not about erasing what happened but learning from it and making choices that align with who you want to berdquo Elizabeth signs offContaining the falloutAn extramarital affair especially in the workplace can have serious implications for your reputation says Rohra ldquoIf your colleagues learn of it it could lead to damaged trust strained relationships or even disciplinary action if company policies are violated Gossip can overshadow your achievements making it harder to maintain credibilityrdquo she advises The experts suggest relatable strategiesgtgt Stay professional Keep the personal out of office dynamics Focus on your performance and demonstrate your reliabilitygtgt Address concerns If rumours emerge address it discreetly and professionally Staying silent or defensive can escalate mattersgtgt Learn and grow Take the opportunity to reflect on your values and ensure your actions align with them moving forward Colleagues and peers tend to respect those who own up and try to improvegtgt Take it slow Consistency and integrity will help restore professional relationships Let your consistent ethical behaviour rebuild trust over timegtgt Seek help Guidance from a mentor or counsellor can help you navigate smoothly the opportunity can be used for personal and professional growthAlso ReadPolitics in dating Is political opinion a determining factor while choosing partners