If Santa Claus could make it happen

Bumpy roads bumpy roadsBumpy all the wayOh what a pain it is to rideOn a backbreaking commute homeHey Bumpy roads bumpy roadsBumpy all the wayOh what a pain it is to rideOn a backbreaking commute homeSir PM was offkey and the lyrics were all out of sync yet he was undeterred and carried on with immense confidence After all it was only a few minutes since both friends just walked out of Holy Name Cathedral in Colaba after listening to a memorable carol singing performance by the Stop GapsEnsemble Inspired by what he heard he decided to improvise one of the more popular Christmas carols his mother had taught him when he was a little boy Of course this was a far cry from the traditional carols that resonated in every corner of the landmark a favourite spot for both friends to drop by especially this time of the yearldquoSo what did you think of this version of Jingle Bells my Lady I was inspired by what I heard insiderdquo Sir PM prodded his friend in the hope some praise would flow Sidestepping the difficult part Lady Flora swiftly moved to the easier thing ldquoIn a Wooden Box was my favourite of the lot I last heard it at St Paulrsquos Cathedral by their choir when I was holidaying in London one Christmas many moons ago What was yours Pherozerdquo Sir PMrsquos mood was a bit crushed by his friendrsquos response and he replied softly ldquoMine was Silent Night But what did you think of this carol I just made up I thought it might be nice to gently put across our message to my former bosses since they donrsquot seem to be listening to the poor commutersrsquo woes for God knows how long I thought a bit of a festive ring might help getsome tractionhelliprdquoLady Flora tried to be diplomatic ldquoWell if you must knowmdashit wasnrsquot the best rendition I am sorry Pheroze but I know your heart is in the right place and it beats for the Bombaywallah at all times That in itself is commendablerdquo She felt as if shersquod dodged a bullet because her friend managed a halfsmileldquoMy Lady I also thought of roping in good ole reliable St Nicholas aka Santa Claus to perhaps put some added pressure on the civic gods Who knows they mightblink because of his lsquosuperrsquo powershelliprdquo he smiled ldquoAnd how do you plan to wing that Pherozerdquo Lady Flora did an eyeroll ldquoOh it was simple I wrote him a letter on our behalf just like old times Herersquos the drafthelliprdquo he pulled out a photocopy of a handwritten letter Both friends halted by the porch of the stunning lit Wesley Methodist Church to read the letterDear SantaThis may come as a surprise given the nature of our request Wersquove been nice and not naughty unlike some of your other letterwritersOur first wish for Christmas is for the greater cause of this great city BombayMumbai Its people have been deprived of better facilities especially with public transport A majority of its population relies on local trains buses and autos for their commute Year after year they havenrsquot been able to improve facilities for a burgeoning population The civic gods havenrsquot been able to meet their expectations despite repeated petitionsSecondly we suggest you DO NOT use your sleigh when you visit the city Your reindeer will need immediate treatment at the animal hospital in Parel The roadsare in a permanently dugup state with barricades and other roadblocks Itrsquos for your own benefit Thank us later But on a related note please put in a word to the authorities who run the city to act soon and promptly Itrsquos been a hopeless scenario for so long that we all need urgent physiotherapy to maintain our spinesLastly we hope you could gift a few goodies from the North Pole to them and also share your thoughts on climate change It must be better than what wersquove been experiencing here Insufficient green cover aggressive concretisation and less focus on saving mangroves and our urban forest is a bother that will affect the city Perhaps your worldlywise advice from all your travels might have a better impactOn that note we wish you safe travels and good health Please wear a mask when you do your rounds in our city And we call it smog here not fogSincerelySir PM Mehta and Lady FloraldquoBravo I am impressed with this letter Thank you for including me as cosignee Letrsquos hope that St Nick can get the job donerdquo said an expectant Lady Florardquo Sir PM smiled at his friend ldquoThat my Lady will be a modern Christmas miracle We can never give up And now have lsquosuperrsquo Santa Claus on our siderdquomiddayrsquos Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the cityrsquos sights sounds smells and stoneswherever the ink and the inclination takes her She tweets bombayanaSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycom