Nightmare on the Virar Fast

To be fair I was warnedA fellow at the station had said ldquoBetter not take the Virar Fastrdquo But he mumbled it like a mild afterthought so I took it as a suggestion rather than a dire warningIt was evening rush hour at Churchgate station a key terminus on the worldrsquos most daunting suburban train network carrying the equivalent of Switzerlandrsquos population daily I was trying to decide the best train to get to Andheri but the threelanguage announcements were turned to gibberish by the rallylevel reverb added to them No one was listening anyway they were focused on the baffling code on each platformrsquos LED signageThe bright white sign above my head read mdashBO0647S03The first one or two characters someone kind explained represented the destination in this case BO for Borivli The next four characters all numeric showed the scheduled arrival time The next character always F or S signified a Fast or Slow train The last two positions also numeric told you the minutes left for the trainrsquos arrivalShould I board a slow train and endure a 45minute ride to Andheri or get there in 25 minutes on the next fast train While I pondered this the Borivli Slow filled up and left The platform sign changed to VR0653F01 My eyes fastened only on the letter FHere it was my Fast train home But as it pulled in the station turned into a war zoneAt its worst moments Churchgate is like a landmine harmless until it explodes Everything looks deceptively mundane but everyone is a coiled spring taut and alert They know that any moment without warning a cataclysm will shatter the peace when the next train enters Their lives will depend on moving like lightning and with the brutal force of a sledgehammerThe sound starts even before the train stops the thundering hooves of hordes of humans barrelling into the train like panicked wildebeests crossing the Mara River while crocodiles try to eat them They hurtle into compartments like missiles looking left and right with wild eyes for empty seatsI got swept in on this tsunami of bodies a piece of Western Railway flotsam There was no question of finding a seat everything had been taken in the first five seconds flat I stood wedged at the back of the coach between eight human beings of varying sizes weights and aromaticsI wish someone had told me this was the Virar Fast And that I was about to meet the Super Dense Crush LoadA crush is the result of a vehicle carrying more commuters than it was designed for forcing commuters to stand too close tomdashor ldquocrushedrdquo againstmdasheach other In transport economics a crush load describes how many commuters can stand in a square metre without undue discomfortOn a sliding scale of comfort a crush load of 5 is considered optimal with enough standing room and personal space for commuters At a crush load of 78 commuters would still be able to play video games on their smartphones but at 11 theyrsquod have to hold the device above head level At crush load 12 all notion of personal space disappears it becomes bodies without bordersMumbairsquos suburban trains squeeze 14 to 16 commuters per square metre at peak hour a number so wild that they had to coin a special term for it Super Dense Crush Load At this level the crowd begins to display fluid characteristics moving like a single viscous body of flesh As far as entering and exiting the train goes itrsquos each one for themselvesThe train stopped at Mumbai Central Dadar and Bandra and it dawned on me that no one was getting off Everyone on this train was going to VirarAndheri was up next and I could see no way of reaching the exit I began tapping shoulders to ask if anyone could somehow against all odds let me past More shoulders were tapped as the word went around the coach everyone looked kind but helpless We were all frozen in rictusThen someone remarked ldquoSenior citizen Getting off at AndherirdquoThat went viral Some began to say ldquoMake way for Senior Citizenrdquo Some craned their necks to see Senior CitizenSenior Citizen meanwhile stood where he had been compressed packed and clingwrapped devoid of ambition initiative and hope completely resigned to being disengorged at VirarThen something entirely unexpected began Biologists call it peristalsis referring to the rhythmic cycles by which intestines squeeze out their contents each morningA large fleshy man somehow slid past me pushing me into the space he had occupied Another human mass slipped behind me thrusting me a tad closer to the exit Senior Citizen stayed limp and unresisting squeezed forward thus like toothpaste from a tube till somehow amazingly he found himself at the exit night air blowing at his faceThe train reached Andheri The coach cheered Everyone exhorted Senior Citizen to be without fear and jumpWhile I weighed the pros and cons someone gave me one last push and exactly like yesterdayrsquos breakfast I was deposited on the platform hot and steamingBut aliveYou can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper