In an era when the appropriate way to speak is just a search engine away, incidents like last week’s, when actor Ram Kapoor used a flurry of derogatory terms, worst of all comparing being exhausted to being “gangraped”, has left many speechless. Words seem to only be used as weapons instead of being the means to an enlightening discourse. 

Avinash Pandey, linguistics professor, Mumbai University; (right) Ram Kapoor, defending his use of the word “gangrape” to describe a hectic interview schedule

So what are we missing?

Dr Avinash Pandey, an Associate Professor who teaches linguistics at the University of Mumbai, believes that the way you address someone sets the tone with the person. “Language defines a relationship between people or between social groups. This is a point which is not often appreciated enough. The way one might talk to a friend is not the same way you would talk to a colleague,” he says. “With a friend you are making a different linguistic choice, it’s less formal,” he adds.