The fear of flying

On June 12 when the Dreamliner crashed at Ahmedabad it seemed like it was the straw that broke the camelrsquos back With tragedy becoming a part of our lives what with the Ukraine war and the Gaza assault senseless deaths had until then been on our phone screens or television channelsLately however it feels as if a dark cloud has been hanging over Mumbaikars With four deaths on the railway line near Mumbra on June 9 the city was still recovering from the Bengaluru stampede that took place on June 4 before we could catch our breath the helicopter crashed at Kedarnath on June 15 and the Pune bridge collapse tragedy unfolded on June 16Dinner tables drinks with friends office conversations and even dates have had a sense of despondency It seems most have stopped planning to go anywhere mdash catching a flight travelling by train a quick family getaway to Lonavala mdash all plans remain suspended We speak to people from across the country who are finding it harder than usual to move forward and are finding their own coping mechanismsNo option but to go off InstagramNeelam Sharma Book influencer PowaiNeelam Sharma lost her mother in January this year and when the Ahmedabad crash happened she had already been off social media to some extent ldquoI have been very careful about how much I am consuming I kept seeing obituaries of people being posted on Facebook and the war in Gaza on Instagram and I realised that I was not able to take it Even when the crash in Ahmedabad happened a lot of people wanted to talk to me about it but I just told them that I wasnrsquot in the head space to speak about it I have to cut it offrdquo says SharmaSharma had a physical reaction to the wave of information and tells us she almost felt ldquonauseousrdquo with the visuals on social media after the plane crash ldquoThis crash makes me feel as if some tragedy occurs every 15 daysrdquo adds the Powai residentThe 39yearold believes that she can disconnect because social media and the Internet did not exist during her childhood ldquoI think I deal better with it but I feel the younger generation is becoming desensitised to it and sometimes have a problem in understanding where to draw boundariesrdquo Now Sharma has thrown herself into building a website for her work using this to stay focused ldquoI had to learn this anyway and I felt it would allow me to refocus on my career and not let me get emotionally drainedrdquo she addedSharma says that the late Captain Sumeet Sabharwal who was manning the Ahmedabad plane was a resident of Powai and many of her family and friends attended the funeral near Jalvayu Vihar ldquoMy friends were telling me about how his father was at the funeral but I told them I didnrsquot want to knowrdquo she adds Sometimes selfpreservation is cutting offlsquoCrew is under major pressurersquoA pilot with over three decades of experience spoke to Sunday midday off the record and let us in on what the mental state of most pilots as well as cabin crew is right now ldquoIt has affected each and every one of us in some way or another Even the greatest of pilots are saying they are not comfortable flying Many who are getting to fly the plane often say something off the cuff such as mdash they donrsquot know what to expectrdquo they sayWith regard to getting mental health help they say ldquoWe as pilots and cabin crew are speaking to each other but no one is speaking up openly or asking for help despite the fact that peer groups are in place in all airlines This is so because it will go down in their records and affect their career forever So real thick friends are keeping a watch on each other And at the end of the day everyone needs a jobrdquo they addThe pilot confirms anonymous accounts of other pilots who attest to the Dreamlinerrsquos impeccable record Do they think this will affect people from joining the industry or lead anyone to quit They say it might not be so ldquoThe number of pilots is regulated by the industry more than anything When there was a lack of pilots companies opened training schools and ensured enough supply of them and neither have I heard about anyone quitting but I think the cabin crew might see more quits because the pilots will have the technical knowhow to find closure once the inquiry reaches its end While the cabin will not be able to understand whatever comes from the inquiry say if it finds a problem in the plane or a pilot error mdash as a pilot at least we will be able to make some sense of this tragic event But I fear that the cabin crew might not and given that they are also under tremendous pressure there might be more exits thererdquo they add Finally they also admit that not only the ones in the air but even ground crew at each airport are under tremendous pressure with each flightlsquoRage canrsquot burn us outrsquoRiddhi Chatterjee Content marketer KolkataKolkata has been in the middle of one of the biggest and conversations around the safety of working women 10 months after the R G Kar rapemurder case Riddhi Chatterjee a 27yearold feels that the city is still recovering from the tragedy ldquoWe might not speak about it openly in general but freeflowing conversations continue happening among friendsrdquo she saysRiddhi ChatterjeeThe content marketeer finds an outlet through her friends ldquoWe have been talking about everyone expecting us to pretend that the world is not burning on repeat The overarching feeling is that we are expected to go back to our laptops and keep working as if nothing has happened I was reading and trying to make sense of things when I came across the phenomenon of hypernormalisation where the most catastrophic incidents are normalised and that is leading to a lot of anxiety and depressionrdquo she adds recalling how after the R G Kar rapemurder she could do little to no workChatterjee vocalises an existential crisis ldquoItrsquos a constant feeling of hopelessness Somehow I feel that such severe tragedies werenrsquot so frequent and itrsquos leading many of us to ask existential questions Every day it gets worse lsquoWhat am I doing How does it even matterrsquo and there is no resolution to itrdquo she says The fatigue of standing up for onersquos rights is setting in ldquoWe are tired of raising our voice asking for better but there is no real accountabilityrdquo she addsAbout her coping mechanism Chatterjee has stuck with therapeutic conversations with friends ldquoIt feels like itrsquos a privilege to pull myself away from the news and whatrsquos happening online but I also understand that at the end of the day if I want to stay sane the rage canrsquot burn me out After the initial rage has passed I donrsquot stay away from the news or social media but I talk to people and try to process thingsrdquo she says Sometimes she says she gets thrown off balance mdash as with the recent video of the funeral of Clive Kunder the copilot in the crash ldquoI broke down when I saw the funeral then picked myself up and thought lsquostay sane and keep workingrsquo Itrsquos fine to be sensitive and you canrsquot always be calm about tragedies that we see I also donrsquot judge people who have cut themselves off from social media mdash whatever helps peoplerdquo she addsChatterjee relates what a cousin shared recently ldquoShe said that she wants to wrap her family up in a protective bubble and keep them there rdquo says Chatterjee Families in bubble wrap doesnrsquot sound too farfetched for these timeslsquoCount your blessing every nightrsquoRajeshwari Singh Tarot card readerWhen people come to me after incidents like this they are ridden with anxiety especially if they have lost someone close to them I first calm them down balance their emotions This could take a few sittings We focus a lot on acceptance Acceptance doesnrsquot mean yoursquore okay with what happened mdash it just means you acknowledge it stop fighting it internally Only after that can healing begin Many of my clients have lost close companions people they spoke to daily Suddenly those routines are gone We help them find new ways to reconnect with life mdash through hobbies reading even simple things like walking or listening to musicRajeshwari SinghI have clients who havenrsquot lost anyone but are just shocked by these tragedies There is a sense of kabhi bhi kuch bhi ho sakta hai Anything can happen at any time I think in the name of humanity we all belong to each other So we all have a sense of fear I tell people count their blessings every night before you they sleep The universe has your back In such situations if there is any guilt pain or anger with any person one must take the time to resolve it Letting go is very important apologise if you have to but mend your relationshipsWhat people get wrong is that tarot is a predicting tool We canrsquot tell you what the future is The cards are just a guiding tool They can support inspire and motivate But you canrsquot tell what will happen No one canTap into the calmShraddha Neeraj Coach and therapistShraddha NeerajShraddha Neerajrsquos clients have been asking her to deal with their fears ldquoThe fear is realrdquo she says right off the bat One of her clients recently had a panic attack after her husband did not messagecall when his flight had landed ldquoDifferent people are going through different things but the crash has been a major triggerrdquo she addsSo what should you doShraddha recommends1 Proactive control over exposure We can always be informed and use discretion about what they are consuming2 Seek help for mental health Go to professionals donrsquot hesitate3 Sometimes bubbles are good Imagine an energy bubble around the person you love and hand over their safety to a higher power4 Breathwork Breathwork is essential for those who do not believe in a higher power5 Emotional Freedom Technique EFT or Tapping It is a therapy that combines cognitive and somatic elements to address emotional and physical pain There are nine specific acupressure points on the body andthe technique teaches you how to tap and selfsoothe yourselfHow does one protect childrenSnehalata Jain Parent and travel blogger VashiSnehalata Jainrsquos fiveyearold son Aarit Shah has been having a difficult time since the airplane crash at Ahmedabad ldquoHe comes to me and asks lsquoMumma what if the plane comes and crashes into our housersquo He has been asking things like lsquoWill it burnrsquo because he saw the charred bodies on the newsrdquo says the mother of two A childrsquos imagination is often a wonderful thing but Jain feels that in situations like this it becomes dangerous ldquoItrsquos a constant exercise to rein his imagination in and I end up consoling him and saying lsquoaisa kuch nahi hogarsquordquo says the Vashi residentSnehalata with son Aarit ShahJain was particularly having a hard time after the three children fiveyearold twins Nakul and Pradyut and their eightyearold sister Miraya who were moving to London with their doctor parents were killed in the crash ldquoThat story in particular hit me because of the children But really every day we are hearing about the lives and dreams of people who were either on the plane or were hit by it on the ground The visual of a mother running out of a ball of fire asking people to come to help her find her son was heartwrenching and itrsquos affecting my mental healthrdquo she saysJainrsquos words strike a chord among most of us who have been fighting the overwhelming visuals of the tragedy ldquoI have been crying with every piece of news every visual so much so that my husband finally took away my phone for a bitrdquo she says Finally she tried to control her consumption of news ldquoI have a limit to the number of posts that I see I stop at five to 10 reels or stories or posts and then I donrsquot pick up my phone for a whilerdquo she addsJain has seen uncertainty of living in city firsthand as she was caught in the floods of 2005 when she was in her last year of college ldquoI walked in neck deep water from Chembur to Vashi and got an infection leading to a locked jaw temporomandibular disorder it took me a year of treatment to fully recoverrdquo says Jain She points out these incidents were rare and most of us would get a breather before the next great tragedy ldquoNow I feel they donrsquot stop itrsquos like you are the punching bag and the punches donrsquot stop You donrsquot have time to centre yourselfrdquo she addsJain rekindles a childhood memory ldquoWhen we were kids and planes were not as common as they are now whenever one would pass over us we would look up and say a prayer or make the sign of the cross so that the people in it would go home safelyrdquo she says Maybe we all need to look up and say a little prayerFrom the outside inHimanshi Punglia Manchester UKHimanshi Punglia has been living in the UK for the last year The 21yearold is in her last year of college and plans to return to India when she is done with her degree As she prepares for a flight back home the anxiety is also clocking in ldquoSo many tragic incidents have happened recently especially in June mostly related to flights and travel So many people are dying and Irsquom on one side of the world while my family is on the other Itrsquos not like these things directly affect me but they make you think mdash anything can happen to anyone right You get these intrusive thoughts and you donrsquot know what to expectrdquoHimanshi Punglia currently stays in Manchester UK and is feeling scared to take a flight back homeldquoEven when Irsquom booking a flight now Irsquom checking whether itrsquos a Boeing or Airbus because there have been so many reports about Boeing planes being involved in accidents Earlier we never used to think about these things mdash wersquod just book ticketsrdquoPunglia feels that 2025 has been especially stacked with tragedies ldquoIt started with the Pahalgam incident things happened in the US there was a stampede in Bangalore and then that train tragedy in Mumbai Then Ahmedabad Itrsquos been constantrdquo she says adding ldquoItrsquos overwhelming because no one expects any of it And I scroll a lot online I follow a lot of tarot creators and there was one woman who said lsquoI told you 2025 would be full of death and donrsquot make any travel plans in June now It was all very scaryrdquo Punglia says ldquoI have found myself becoming more religious and I also try to look for the best in the situationrdquolsquoIn Ahmedabad everyonersquos spookedrsquoVipul Shah lives 2 km away from the crash site and rushed to it when news broke on the fateful day ldquoI am a transporter and one of my drivers was on the same route I looked for him but he was okayrdquo he says The mood in Ahmedabad he says is one of ldquoletrsquos get back to workrdquo ldquoBut yes many people say things like lsquoI am relieved it didnrsquot fall on our sidersquo They are not being insensitive just honestrdquo he adds The day after the crash says Shah it was almost like a heat wave ldquoThe temperature went up to 47 degrees around 1 pm It was that way for almost four hours and it made sense because apparently the temperature of the plane went up to 1000 degreesrdquo he says At the same time many have cancelled their plans to travel including his neighbours ldquoEveryone is spooked right nowrdquo he says Phobia Reignsgtgt thinspFights have broken out on some flights over occupation of seat number 11A where the lone survivor of AI 171 was seated reflecting the power of superstitiongtgt thinspPeople have cancelled flight tickets out of feargtgt thinspSome have postponed plans that involve any travel even by train or car