The price of safety: The emotional and financial ‘tax’ women pay to feel secure

When two Australian women cricketers stepped out of their hotel in Indore for a simple cup of coffee on October 25 they could hardly have imagined that a man would touch them inappropriately Yet for most women that fear shadows even the most ordinary outing mdash whether itrsquos for work leisure or just a caffeine fixIn response Madhya Pradesh minister Kailash Vijayvargiya remarked that the players should have been more ldquocarefulrdquo Why step out without security Donrsquot they know that stepping out is an invitation enough to be molestedHe remarked ldquoThere is a huge craze for cricket players in India like it is for football players in England Players sometimes donrsquot realise their fame but they are very popularrdquo he said But fame has little to do with it mdash women are harassed not because theyrsquore recognised but because they exist in public Men enjoy the unspoken privilege of belonging in public spaces unquestionedRochi Kale went as far as placing menrsquos shoes outside her apartment to create the facade that she doesnrsquot live alone Representational picKirti Surve ParadeA 2018 study under World of Indiarsquos Girls WINGS by the NGO Save The Children found that one in three women lives in fear of being touched inappropriately When fear becomes so routine some women have learnt to buy their way out of it with a sort of ldquosafety taxrdquomdash the extra cost attached to simply moving through the world with easeHowever money doesnrsquot always help For stars scrutiny is everpresent An entourage becomes an unsaid basic requirement just so a balance can be maintained Actress Huma Qureshi tells us ldquoI always has at least one bodyguard near me at all times Security at home is also tight but thatrsquos normal in our line of work because we are so exposed to the public eyerdquo she saysCelebrity or not no woman is spared today Delhi resident Rochi Kale 27 who is pursuing a PhD says ldquoI could get an apartment for Rs 8000 in other areas but I pay Rs 12000 right now I canrsquot live in a commercial area I have to live in a residential more familyoriented society even though itrsquos farther from my college My male counterparts can stay closer to college thoughrdquoAudrey DrsquomelloLiving farther from college means more commute cost as well ldquoI would love to take bike taxis but Irsquove heard of horror stories from other friendsrdquo she says Kale tells us about how a bike taxi driver started having lewd conversations with her friend Another started asking if this is a route she takes every day mdash an immediate red flag for womenldquoIf I take a bike taxi it would take me Rs 40 But with a rickshaw itrsquos somewhere between Rs 100 to Rs 110 If I take a shared erickshaw itrsquos just Rs 20 but that means waiting to find one plus itrsquos not lastmile connected so I still have to walk a specific distancerdquo she says ldquoMy best option is also the most expensive onerdquoThen there are the safety measures that a single woman in Delhi has to take ldquoOf course I carry pepper spray and a keychain that doubles as a knife Those are some Rs 500rdquo says Kale ldquoAnother thing I do is I keep menrsquos shoes outside my apartment to make it look like a man lives here and I change them every two months or so so that it doesnrsquot raise any suspicionrdquoThe use of pepper spray weapon keychains or tasers is widespread Global forecasts estimate the industry size at Rs 54000 crore in 2025 Itrsquos expected to grow to Rs 88860 crore by 2034 at a compounded annual growth rate of 57 per centShaili Chopra has calculated that onethird of all her expenses go towards maintaining safety PicINSTAGRAMshailichopraThe hardest loss for Kale is the opportunity cost one that cannot even be quantified ldquoAlmost all networking events happen after 8 pm I have to come back home by then Time is money I lose it all the time just to ensure my safetyrdquo she sighsShaili Chopra went as far as calculating the extra cost of her safety The 45yearold is the founder of Gytree and SheThePeople a media house dedicated to telling womenrsquos stories She found that onethird of all her monthly expenses go into ensuring safetyChopra first felt the pinch of a safety tax early in her career when she was sent on a work trip with only a tight budget ldquoThey put me up in a notsogood hotelrdquo she says ldquoand I decided to pay out of pocket and stay in a standardised chain hotelrdquo Since then shersquos been noting all the places where she spends a little extra to remain safe That private cab instead of a rickshaw paying extra for aisleseat flight tickets only buying 2tier AC tickets in trains not taking flights in the middle of the night even though theyrsquore cheaper mdash all these costs started adding upAfter all this more expensive doesnrsquot always mean safer Many women also prefer rickshaws to cabs feeling that they can at least jump out of a rickshaw if the ride takes a bad turnldquoIn trains a firstclass ticket is a box yoursquore confined in a space with a strange manrdquo says ChopraFor standup comic Aditi Mittal travel is a big part of her job She often goes on tour where she ensures that she stays at a decent hotel ldquoYou canrsquot afford to save some money and stay in a slightly suspicious hotel where a male comedian wonrsquot blink twice before stayingrdquo she says Since Mittal lives with her mother she goes the extra mile to remain safe at home too with triple lock systems motion sensors and video cameras outsideldquoThere have been multiple occasions where Irsquove had to pay extra for security Though itrsquos hard to quantify in total hiring a bodyguard for the day can cost upwards of Rs 10000 per personrdquo she says ldquoTherersquos also the opportunity cost of public transport So many times I see a bus I can get into but then one realises that one is in Delhi and you canrsquot just do that Same is the case with bike taxisrdquoWomen seem to feel most excluded from public transport Every woman we spoke to told us they find public transport either entirely inaccessible because of the fear of groping or avoid it at all costs after a certain hour In Delhi alone a 2022 World Bank survey revealed that 88 per cent of women had experienced sexual harassment while using public transport For Anshika Kushwaha the cost is 40 times expensive ldquoWhat wouldrsquove been a Rs 10 ticket on a local train turns into a Rs 400 cab riderdquo says the 23yearold Lokhandwala resident who avoids local trains at nightEven though these expenses may seem small at first they add up over time Kushwaha also adds ldquoAs a woman I have to maintain a very good relationship with my building security guard He knows my exact address everyone that comes in and goes out of my house Of course everyone does the basics of sharing food and tipping But I make sure to tip them very well just in caserdquoShe also goes to a gym farther from her building because the one thatrsquos closer seems shady ldquoThe nearer gym has a monthly membership that costs some Rs 15000 But my current gym is a fancier one Celebrities come there so therersquos a general understanding of safety but their monthly membership is Rs 30000rdquo she saysKushwaha feels that she has to be aware of her surroundings at all times ldquoand thatrsquos the case with every womanrdquo ldquoThe cost of living as a woman is now a toll thatrsquos hardwired into my brain Itrsquos a part of the pores on my skin and the air I breathe I wouldnrsquot be able to quantify the fear that has lived in the bones of generations of womenrdquo says MittalThe constant apprehension takes its toll Chopra says ldquoSuch fear has translated into buying safety That means there are some people who canrsquot afford this cost There are certain women who will always have to put themselves in precarious situationsrdquoEven if safety comes at a price tag itrsquos a commodity women strive to buy Advocate at Majlis Legal Centre Audrey Drsquomello says ldquoPrivilege does come into play of course But women have to spend more to be safe across all classes Even if they live on the streets they pay that extra price compared to men mdash in where they sleep what they do to use the bathroomrdquoShe says ldquoWomen live with the fear that they can be sexually violated anytime This is debilitating as we make our lives smaller in the hope of staying safe and yet there is no guarantee The price we pay for the notion of safety is very highrdquoBut the state is supposed to be responsible for the safety of all of its citizens right The privatisation of safety sits at odds with that idea Women are expected to pay their way out of it And increasingly it seems that this is happening by design that the system is rigged on purpose ldquoCities are being designed to exclude womenrdquo says Drsquomello ldquoIf you step out of a busy train station even late at night therersquos a sense of safety because of the hawkers and people selling things on the street Therersquos life around you But cities are increasingly removing them leaving more isolated spaces That denies women the ability to be out after a certain hour or to access public areas freelyrdquoThe safety tax is a cost that women should never have to bear Chopra puts it in practical perspective ldquoThey could have used this money for something elserdquoI always have at least one bodyguard near me Security at home is also tight but thatrsquos normal in our line of work because we are so exposed to the public eyeHuma Qureshi actorThe cost of living as a woman is now a toll that is a part of the wiring of my brain I wouldnrsquot be able to quantify the fear that has lived in the bones for generations of womenAditi Mittal Standup comicSometimes players donrsquot realise their popularity Players are very popular so they should be careful Itrsquos this incident a lesson for us and for the players as wellKailash Vijayvargiya MP MinisterRs 10000Day rate of one bodyguard1 in 3Women live with the fear of being touched inappropriatelyRs 54000 crSize of womenrsquos safety devices industry in 2025This much moreThis is how much extra two women spend on safety every month mdash in addition to regular living expensesRochi Kale 27 Rs 14000 total Rs 4000 rent Rs 8000 gym membership Rs 1200 commuting Rs 500 safety equipment Rs 300 shoesAnshika Kushwaha 23 Rs 17100 total Rs 1600 commute Rs 500 tips Rs 15000 gym membership